Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Commentary:
"Living life like an Olympic sprinter: carb-ing up, sprinting hard, then gracefully bowing out for a well-deserved nap 😂🍝💤 #LifeGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Commentary:
Ah, the infamous "microsleep" phenomenon – a brief moment of shut-eye that stretches into a never-ending slumber, brought to you by the advanced age clock 🕰️⏰. Who needs naps when you can master the art of microsleeps? It's the ultimate power nap strategy for the seasoned snoozer! 💤😆
6 months ago
Share →: I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

Commentary:
"Clearly, I'm no Sleeping Beauty! 😴👸 Who needs a fairytale when you can have dark circles and coffee instead? ☕️😅"
6 months ago
Share →: Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Commentary:
"Look at you, turning handshakes into a mysterious guessing game 🤔👖 Let the speculation begin: Was it a secret slime operation or simply a mid-meal snack? The world may never know! 🕵️‍♂️🍔 #SneakyHandshakeMoves"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'I have an appointment' excuse strikes again! 💁‍♂️ Who knew appointments were the ultimate productivity repellant? 🤣 Time to sit back, relax, and wait for that elusive appointment to magically make us busy all day! 🕰️✨"
6 months ago
Share →: They should invent a rest for the wicked.

Commentary:
"If they invented a rest for the wicked, would it come with devilishly comfortable cushions? 😈💤 #EvilNaps"
6 months ago
Share →: When I was a young boy, the doctor told me I had a lazy eye. By the time I was 50, it had spread to the rest of my body.

Commentary:
Well, sounds like that lazy eye wasn't so lazy after all – it just needed some time to motivate the rest of the body to join in on the fun! 🤪💪 Who knew being lazy could be so contagious? 🤣 #LazyEyeGoals
6 months ago
Share →: It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

Commentary:
"Getting ready is a skillful balancing act between mastering the art of procrastination for 45 minutes 💤 and then channeling your inner superhero for the mad dash in the final 15 minutes 🏃‍♀️⏰. Welcome to the magic show of 'how to transform from a sleepy sloth to a stylish ninja' in 60 minutes!"
6 months ago
Share →: I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of feeling wide awake right before bedtime but hitting a post-lunch slump faster than a speeding bullet at work! 😂💤 It's like our bodies have their own secret agenda to keep us on our toes (or should I say, on our pillows?) all day long! 💼🛌 #WorkHardNapHarder"
6 months ago
Share →: There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

Commentary:
"Ah, the sweet bliss of freedom from the dreaded alarm clock ⏰! It's like a mini celebration for your tired soul 🎉. No more snooze button battles or waking up in a panic – just pure, uninterrupted sleep! So go ahead, savor the moment and sleep in like a champion 😴💪!"