108 Funny routine quotes

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

  Commentary:
  "Ah yes, the mornings, when one must prepare for battle against the elusive snooze button and the treacherous morning grump 😂☕️⚔️ Rise and shine, a warrior never sleeps in! 💪🌞"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the secret behind health, wit, and dance floor domination – all in a humble glass of wine 🍷💃 Here's to staying sharp and agile, one sip at a time! Cheers to keeping the doctor away with a side of sass and style 😉🥂 #WineWisdom"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

  Commentary:
  "Life motto: Feeling tired all day, but suddenly energized when it's time to sleep 🕺💤 Who knew my inner party animal only comes out at bedtime? 🎉 #BedtimeBoogie"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the mystical powers of yoga — turning lower back pain into upper back gain! 🧘‍♂️🚀 Who knew stretching could be so magical? Maybe next it'll turn my pizza cravings into salad cravings! 🍕➡️🥗 #YogaWizardry"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

  Commentary:
  🌙 "No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it's bed time." 😂 Seems like you've mastered the element of surprise as a parent! Your kids probably think you've unlocked a secret bedtime-extended cheat code! 🛌 #ParentingSurprises #BedtimeShenanigans

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

  Commentary:
  🐱😹 "When I rise from my slumber, my feline companion also rises with a look of blatant accusation, as if to say 'How dare you disturb our synchronized snooze schedule, human!' It's like we're part of the world's grumpiest early morning duo – 'The Wake-Up Whiskers'! 😼🎤"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, a reluctantly enlightened soul who has upgraded from Monday-hating to a more refined level of disliking the entire week! 🌧️😂 Embrace the mature grumpiness, my friend, for it is a mark of true sophistication. #MondayMotivation #WeekLongStruggle"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

  Commentary:
  🤣 "I've added lunges to my workout routine. It's a big step forward…literally! Who knew exercising could be so pun-derful? Keep lunging ahead, you're really stepping up your fitness game! 💪🚶‍♂️"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

  Commentary:
  "Rise and shine, early birds! 🌞⏰ Let's make time for both coffee and a healthy serving of my BS – it's the most important meal of the day! 🤣☕ #MorningBanter"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

  Commentary:
  "Well, they do say breakfast is the most important meal of the day! 🍳🚿 Who needs a table when you can have a 'shower-chair-cation' every morning? 💁‍♂️🪑"

For even more funny routine quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny routine quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌