Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Today feels like a good day for a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Is there a word for FOMO but it’s already happened and you didn’t know about it when it was happening?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,353

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Beginning of August is always wild because it’s peak summertime, but the veil is so thin, like it’s Halloween.

Just shared via Discord:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

Breaking via X:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

Trending via Facebook:

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

Shared recently on X:

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

Going bananas on Slack:

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

Just shared via Twitch:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

Funny separately quotes

Funny separately quotes bring a hilarious twist to the idea of being apart 🤪✨ Whether you’re celebrating independence or poking fun at distance, these gems will make you laugh out loud 😂💬 Perfect for sharing with friends or spicing up your captions, get ready to enjoy some witty and clever vibes that prove sometimes being apart is just the beginning of the fun! 🎉📲

New funny separately quotes 👇

All funny separately quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Threads this month:

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

28 shares on WeChat this month:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m never single for too long, you gotta catch me while you can.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The real anti-aging regimen is retaining your childlike wonder and whimsy.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My mental health walks make my mental health worse because I live in a shithole.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I thought you are the sunshine of my life, but you are just a meteor trying to destroy my world.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite Christmas Eve tradition is the one where I tell my kids we have to get the house spotless, or Santa won’t come.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,420

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Aura is the real business card.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

Trending via Instagram:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Live now on Slack:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Seen just now on Slack:

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

Going viral on Snapchat:

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

Just shared via Reddit:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Trending via WeChat:

Why do we say ‘slept like a baby’? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat—14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Making waves on Facebook:

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

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