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5 months ago
Share →: Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

Commentary:
"Imagine the joy of walking into a salon and saying, 'Charge it to my insurance, please!' 💇‍♂️💳 Next thing you know, we'll be debating over premium haircuts and deductible lengths. Just thinking about it gives me split ends of laughter! 😂✂️"
5 months ago
Share →: Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

Commentary:
"Oh, the unsaid words, the unspoken thoughts… Truly, the most precious gift of all! 🤐✨ Gratitude for the silence, the restraint, the unexpressed sass. Bravo to this master of restraint! 👏😄"
5 months ago
Share →: Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

Commentary:
"Starting a business is easy, they said. It'll be a piece of cake, they said. 🍰 But don't worry, you got this! Just remember to mind your own business…literally! 😜💼"
5 months ago
Share →: A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

Commentary:
"Perhaps if A.I. mastered waiting tables, their art might come with a side of fries 🤖🍟 Who knew serving up dishes could be the secret ingredient to creating masterpieces? Bon appétit, robots!"
5 months ago
Share →: Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

Commentary:
"Anxiety: the gift that keeps on giving…and taking 😅💳 Imagine racking up points every time you overthink – redeemable for extra worrying or free panic attacks! Who needs a points card when you've got anxiety on your side? 🏆✨"
5 months ago
Share →: I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

Commentary:
"Agreed, let's convince our bosses that our productivity is directly tied to the sun's work schedule 🌞 Less sunlight, less work, right? Who's with me? 🤔 #WinterWorkHours"
5 months ago
Share →: God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Commentary:
Oh boy, looks like even God is having second thoughts about his creation! 👀😂 Maybe he's regretting not reading the user manual before hitting the "create" button! 🤷‍♂️ Let's hope a software update can fix this glitch! 🤖 #DivineComedy
5 months ago
Share →: They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the mile-high smoking lounge! Because nothing says 'taking flight' quite like a nicotine fix with a side of fresh air…or turbulence. ✈️🚬 Just remember to buckle up your seatbelt and hold onto your ashtray! 😅"
5 months ago
Share →: People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

Commentary:
🍆 "Some say aubergines belong in the bin, but I say they deserve better – like being a secret agent undercover in the fridge! 🕵️‍♂️ Who knew these sneaky veggies were living a double life? 😂 #FridgeSpy"
5 months ago
Share →: Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

Commentary:
Oh, poor planning there! 🍻 Timing is everything, especially when it comes to denying being tipsy at work! ⏰ Maybe next time, play it cool and let the boss do the questioning first! 😅 #OfficeBlunders