27 Funny sign quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew running the family business could vary so much between Mom's homemade cookies and, well, dictatorship? 🍪🇰🇵 #FamilyBusinessGoals"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

  Commentary:
  "Oh no, it sounds like your gym membership might be hiding in the locker room! 🏋️‍♂️ Don't worry, maybe it's just doing some extra squats and push-ups on its own. 😂💪 It's always worth checking in with those elusive gym gains – they can be quite the sneaky little devils! 🕵️‍♂️ #MysteryOfTheMissingMuscles"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

  Commentary:
  "Talk about the ultimate 'long-term commitment'! 😆👏 Nothing says 'I love you' quite like sticking with the joke through thick and thin! 💌💍 #RelationshipGoals"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

  Commentary:
  "Watch out, folks! 🦁♌️ Leo in the house about to munch on your astrological signs like it's a cosmic buffet! 😂🍽️ Who knew zodiac signs could be so tasty? Better hide your horoscope!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: My dog pisses on every election sign regardless of political party so I have no idea who he is voting for.

  Commentary:
  Looks like your dog is the ultimate bipartisan pee-ologist! 🐶🤣 Who knew our furry friends could play a part in the political process too? Maybe he's advocating for a "pawsome" unity party! 🐾 #Dogtatorship

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

  Commentary:
  "Back in my day, we didn't have fancy hashtags and social media trends 🧐 We just saw a pound sign and thought, 'Hey, that's a great spot for a game of tic-tac-toe!' 😂 #OldSchoolCool"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, kids have the power to choose your retirement location 🏠👵👴 Best to butter them up with kindness and love now while you still have a chance! 😄 #FutureRoommateSelectors"

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