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Funny situations quotes

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

3 months ago

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

3 months ago

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

3 months ago

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

3 months ago

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

3 months ago

Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

3 months ago

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

3 months ago

I can cope well with most situations. Hearing someone smack is not one of them.

3 months ago

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

3 months ago