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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Waiting in the grocery store parking lot for the rotisserie chickens to be ready. The thrill of the hunt.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

If I worked construction, I would always say, “It’s hammer time,” when I left for work.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Forever grateful that thought bubbles aren’t a real thing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,345

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

Going viral on Twitch:

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Next month is May. May all the money come to me.

Spotted on Discord:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

“I’m so good at doing nothing. I wish I could get paid for it.”

Seen just now on WeChat:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

Just landed via Telegram:

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

Just shared via Slack:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

538 Funny social media quotes

Funny social media quotes bring a touch of humor to our digital lives! 📱😂 From hilarious posts to witty observations about online behavior, these quotes capture the amusing side of social networking. Enjoy a laugh as you scroll through your feeds and interact with the online world! 😄💬

New funny social media quotes 👇

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

15 minutes ago

boyfriend, dating, even, forever, guy, guys, humor, internet, media, meme, persistence, relationship, reply, reply guy, social, social media, stay
Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

21 minutes ago

discussion, group, group therapy, humor, licensed, media, online, online discussion, social, social media, therapy, Twitter, yelling
Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

22 minutes ago

adults, advice, emotionally, emotionally unstable, good, great, health, humor, life, life advice, media, mental, mental health, satire, social, social media, Twitter, unstable
Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

1 hour ago

culture, grind, humor, media, modern, modern slang, parody, phrase, phrase parody, playful, pop, pop culture, slang, social, social media, sunshine, witty
I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

1 hour ago

day, embarrassment, fear, humor, i, joke, media, online, posts, self-deprecation, social, social media
My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

1 hour ago

able, account, career, career goal, delete, detox, digital, digital detox, goal, humor, job, just, LinkedIn, media, online, online presence, point, presence, social, social media
Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

2 hours ago

affection, angel, compliment, digital, digital interaction, equivalent, forehead, humor, interaction, kindness, kissing, liking, me, media, post, social, social media
Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

2 hours ago

better, confidence, content, content creation, creation, humor, i, media, motivation, myself, procrastination, self-improvement, social, social media, working
I’d stalk me too, I get it.

2 hours ago

humor, i, ID, me, media, sarcasm, self-awareness, social, social media, stalk, stalking, too
Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

2 hours ago

downhill, follower, followers, here, humor, media, new, sarcasm, social, social media, welcome

For even more funny social media quotes, hit next 👇

All funny social media quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

84 shares on Instagram this month:

I saw an ad for the ultimate dog bed, but my dogs already have the ultimate dog bed. It’s called my bed.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

54 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

85 shares on Threads this month:

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying to explain that I’m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,394

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Being weird never goes out of style.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

Going viral on Messenger:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Spotted on Messenger:

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

Just shared via Slack:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Just landed via Messenger:

My friends wife threatened to leave him over his Star Wars collectibles and I was like “divorce is strong in this one”.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

Breaking via TikTok:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Seen just now on TikTok:

Not everyone realizes this, but if you clean the pile of receipts out of a purse and stack them together, it makes a teeny tiny book about why you’re broke.

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