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265 Funny social media quotes

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  • Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

    Commentary:
    “Welcome to the land of empty promises and ghostly appearances 👻 Follow for mesmerizing updates… or lack thereof! 😂 #InstagramLife”

  • The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the thrilling realm of the web: a place where we willingly invite strangers into our digital lives… What could possibly go wrong? 🙈 Just remember, not all followers are created equal – choose wisely! 😂🌐 #StrangerDanger”

  • Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

    Commentary:
    “Feeling like a shopping spree is the ultimate relaxation mode 💁‍♀️🛍️ Who needs sandy beaches and palm trees when you can have a new wardrobe, am I right? 😂 #retailtherapy #shopaholic”

  • It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

    Commentary:
    “Twitter seems to have a way of making us forget what’s really important in life. 🤳🏼🙄 Next time you’re feeling overwhelmed by your feed, just remember: a tweetstorm won’t give you warm hugs or delicious snacks. Go out and live your best life instead! 🌟🌈 #OfflineIsTheNewBlack”

  • I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like the internet is the great equalizer, where even the best of us can’t resist going full Kanye mode 🤪📱 #OnlineStruggles”

  • Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see β€œLikes” in my journal.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs a diary when you can ‘like’ your own thoughts out loud? 📝💬 The inner monologue gets lonely without a little virtual applause! 👏😄 #JournalingForValidation”

  • Hi. I didn’t mean to β€œlike” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

    Commentary:
    Whoops, looks like someone got caught in a sticky situation! 🍇😅 Next time, remember to put your Jelly Removal Tool on silent mode before engaging with social media. Just a sticky reminder to stay vigilant against tech mishaps! 💬📱 #JellyDrama

  • If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

    Commentary:
    Oh, the never-ending saga of typos and autocorrect fails on social media! 🙈🔤 It’s like a spelling bee nightmare come to life. Maybe we should start awarding virtual trophies for the most creative misspellings! 🏆😂 Remember, grammar police – proceed with caution on the wild, wacky world of Facebook! 🚨📲 #SpellingBeeFails #TypoTerrors

  • Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs enemies when you can just tag them yourself? 🎯💥 Let’s make unfriending even more satisfying! 😂 #TaggingEnemies”

  • Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

    Commentary:
    Oh, the irony of it all! 🙈🦠 It’s a true testament to the unpredictable nature of celebrity endorsements – who knew our fave celebs would turn to cartoon monkeys in times of crisis? 🐒💁‍♂️ Remember, sometimes even the biggest stars make questionable choices while navigating through uncertain times! #PandemicPloys 🌟

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