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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I enjoy the freedom of speech, because if you let crazy people talk, they’ll totally tell you they’re crazy.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

21 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

Reported on Facebook:

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

Reported on Facebook:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

Going viral on Messenger:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Breaking via Slack:

If reports from this daisy are accurate, she loves me not.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

Just shared via Threads:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

Trending via Snapchat:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Going viral on Threads:

The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.

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38 Funny solitude quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

21 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

It’s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Awkwardly stares into the abyss in between meetings.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

Shared recently on Slack:

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

Just shared via TikTok:

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

Spotted on Slack:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

Live now on TikTok:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Just landed via Messenger:

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

Just shared via Facebook:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

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