26 Funny success quotes

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  1 day ago

  View →: How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.
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  1 week ago

  View →: Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.
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  2 weeks ago

  View →: I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.
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  2 weeks ago

  View →: You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.
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  1 month ago

  View →: The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.
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  2 months ago

  View →: Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.
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  3 months ago

  View →: The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.
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  4 months ago

  View →: You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!
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  4 months ago

  View →: If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.
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  4 months ago

  View →: The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.
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  4 months ago

  View →: To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.
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  4 months ago

  View →: This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.
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  4 months ago

  View →: If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.
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  5 months ago

  View →: If at first you don’t succeed, that’s so embarrassing. Why are you so bad at this?
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  5 months ago

  View →: When this multivitamin kicks in I’m going to do so much success.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.
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  5 months ago

  View →: If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
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  5 months ago

  View →: If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

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