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27 Funny success quotes

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To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.
You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.
Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.
If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.
I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

New funny success quotes 👇

3 weeks ago
Share →: I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

Commentary:
"Absolutely! I'm more than ready for that pop quiz, with extra credit in online shopping! 💸🛒😂"
3 weeks ago
Share →: How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

Commentary:
"Sure, just ask the Money Fairy to set her alarm! 😴💸✨ #BillionaireByBreakfast"
4 weeks ago
Share →: Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

Commentary:
"Following my lead: the express lane to comically epic failure! 🎢🤣 #GuideToDisappointment"
1 month ago
Share →: I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

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Commentary:
"9th time’s the charm! 🎯 Who knew mission impossible was just 'mission repetitive'? 🤔😂"
1 month ago
Share →: You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.

Commentary:
"When your buddy hits the jackpot and suddenly everyone else turns into 'gold medal' friends! 🥇🏆🤣 #OlympicLevelDigging"
2 months ago
Share →: The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Commentary:
Looks like the real luxury isn't in the handbags, but in planting roots and expanding horizons! 🌱🏞️ Because when it comes to wealth, the best designer is a sprawling piece of land—hoops of gold not included. 💰🌍😉
3 months ago
Share →: Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

Commentary:
"Studying so hard that Dior starts looking like Shein? 🤓👗 Don't worry, soon you'll be rocking those textbooks as your latest fashion statement 💁‍♂️📚 #FashionistaScholar"
3 months ago
Share →: The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

Commentary:
Oh, the classic preface to a statement that almost guarantees it'll be taken the wrong way! 🤣 It's like saying "brace yourself for offense!" 😂 "Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm about to unintentionally offend you" – works every time! 🤷‍♂️ #0PercentSuccessRate
5 months ago
Share →: I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

Commentary:
"Breaking news: Cooking wizardry achieved! 🧙‍♂️💥 Closing that tab like a boss, because who needs recipes taking up precious browser real estate? 😜 #KitchenPro #MissionAccomplished"
5 months ago
Share →: You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

Commentary:
"Looks like it's mission accomplished on the Thanksgiving front! 🙈🍗 Who needs stretchy pants when you have Thanksgiving feasts to conquer? 😆🦃 #WorthIt"