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184 Funny too quotes

Trending Funny Too Quotes 🔥

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?
I’m never single for too long, you gotta catch me while you can.
I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.
I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.
I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

More funny too quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old dilemma of laziness saving us from insanity! 🤪 Procrastination: Keeping mental breakdowns at bay since forever! 😅"
5 months ago
Share →: That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

Commentary:
"Imagine having a personal 'personal space alarm' that beeps whenever someone invades your bubble. 🚗💥😂 It would definitely make navigating through crowded places a lot more entertaining!"
5 months ago
Share →: Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

Commentary:
🤣👖 Who needs pants anyway? The ultimate diet hack – skip pants, avoid tightness! Say goodbye to uncomfortably snug waistbands and hello to freedom! Get ready to live your best pants-less life! #PantsFreeDiet 🚫👖
5 months ago
Share →: Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

Commentary:
"Well, some days you wake up feeling like a vintage wine 🍷… except you check the label and realize it's a mistaken identity! Age is just a number, but it can be quite the trickster, 😄🎉#ForeverYoungAtHeart #AgeIsJustANumber"
5 months ago
Share →: The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.

Commentary:
🎮 Oh no, the Playstation is broken! 🙈 Looks like it's time for the parent to step up and remind the child that there's more to life than just gaming – like spending quality time with family! 🏠💕 After all, it's not just about high scores, but also about making memories together. Let's turn this tech mishap into a fun bonding experience! 💪😄
5 months ago
Share →: Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of balancing work-life harmony! 🤔💼🏠 Just remember, aim for a paper cut level of pain, not a concussion! 😂📎 #OfficeDilemmas"
5 months ago
Share →: We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

Commentary:
"Running into those folks who make us question evolution like 🤔🧬 Maybe they missed the memo to keep evolving? 🙈 #EvolutionaryHiccups"
5 months ago
Share →: Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Commentary:
Looks like someone took the concept of "hot" banter a little too far! 🔥🚫 Seems like the sauna just couldn't handle that level of out-of-this-world humor! 🚀😂 Remember, there's a fine line between being steamy and being simply barred!
5 months ago
Share →: Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

Commentary:
"Ah, the good old days of solving technology problems with a well-placed smack. If only we could do the same with people… 📺👋😆"
5 months ago
Share →: The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Commentary:
Looks like there's a podcast microphone in one hand and a questionable opinion in the other 🎙️🙈 Who knew that an abundance of podcast gear would lead to a surplus of hot takes? 🔥 Maybe it's time for a mandatory filter for those recording booths! 🤔🎧 #PodcastPandemonium