Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Everyone’s a gangster until their doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Jan 2, 2026

3,356

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I’m not bothered if you don’t like me, awesomeness isn’t for everyone.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

Going viral on Instagram:

Y’all ever feel like your mouth is stupid but your mind is smart? Like you’re intelligent but you can’t express it when you’re speaking? It’s so frustrating.

Just landed via Twitch:

It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

Just landed via Slack:

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Just shared via TikTok:

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

Just shared via Instagram:

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

Going viral on Messenger:

Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

Funny toothpaste quotes

Funny toothpaste quotes add a humorous twist to our daily dental routine. 🪥😆 From playful jabs at our brushing habits to witty observations about toothpaste mishaps, these quotes bring a smile to the often-overlooked ritual of oral hygiene. Enjoy a good laugh as you freshen up your day with these amusing takes on toothpaste! 🪥😆

New funny toothpaste quotes 👇

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

0

2 months ago

afford, affordability, buy, expensive, expensive taste, humor, own, parenting, someone, taste, teenager, teenager humor, toothpaste
My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

0

2 months ago

cheetos, contradiction, flamin’, Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, hot, humor, kid, me, parenting, snack, spicy, toothpaste, trouble
Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, ceiling, daily, daily life, floor, household, humor, kids, life, me, mirror, parenting, sink, toothpaste, towel, towels, walls
Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

0

2 months ago

bathroom, humor, i, kids, mess, mirror, nice, over, shame, toothpaste
I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, cannon, clean, cleaning, humor, i, kids, mess, parenting, shoot, sure, toothpaste
You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

0

2 months ago

advice, bad, dentist, drink, eat, food, health, humor, name, should, teeth, toothpaste, water
I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

0

2 months ago

buying, commercial, commercials, humor, i, me, scare, something, terrified, tired, toothpaste, trying, want, wrong
Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

0

2 months ago

beverage, care, comedy, dental, dental care, drink, drinking, humor, mishap, ruin, sure, toothpaste, unexpected
The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

0

4 months ago

abbreviation, b, brand, brand name, care, dental, dental care, Funny, humor, me, name, oral, Oral B, question, stand, toothpaste, WTF

All funny toothpaste quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Reddit this month:

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

65 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

46 shares on Threads this month:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

45 shares on Slack this month:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever named rice cakes is probably also responsible for Paris, Texas.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

God saw you do that.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning to everyone except those who need approval from strangers on the internet.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,661

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Watering plants qualifies as a hobby.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

Shared recently on Slack:

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

Going viral on TikTok:

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

Live now on Snapchat:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

Just shared via Threads:

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

Spotted on X:

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

Going bananas on Discord:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

Going viral on WeChat:

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

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