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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I’m sick of living through history!

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

52 minutes ago

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

Just shared via Telegram:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Breaking via WeChat:

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

Making waves on WeChat:

I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

Making waves on Reddit:

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

Going viral on X:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Making waves on TikTok:

The audacity of someone being in the store aisle I want to go down.

Home » Funny Victim Quotes

Funny victim quotes

New funny victim quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old question: Cake or Not Cake? 🎂🔪 Either way, it seems my client was driven by a dessert dilemma rather than a criminal intent, Your Honor! 😅 #CakeOrStab"
6 months ago
Share →: Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

Commentary:
Well, well, well, looks like Leatherface might need a few more chainsaws to patch up those plot holes! 🤣 As for the victims, maybe they're in the after-life trying to find a way to give directions to the lost tourists in the Texas backwoods! 🔪👻 #HorrorMovieMysteries
6 months ago
Share →: I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

Commentary:
"Who needs groupthink when you've got your own personalized brand of nonsensical brilliance? 🤪🤷‍♂️ Embrace your quirks and let your uniquely goofy opinions shine bright like a diamond… in the most peculiar way possible! 💎😂 #OneOfAKind"
6 months ago
Share →: Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

Commentary:
"Looks like Big Bro's got a black belt in shifting blame! 🥋👊 Sibling rivalry at its finest! 😂 #ClassicSiblingDrama"

For even more funny victim quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny victim quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

52 minutes ago

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

For International Women’s Day, I’m going to celebrate by hitting every curb I see.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Spotted on Messenger:

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Just shared via Twitch:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

Going viral on Pinterest:

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

Spotted on Snapchat:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

Going viral on X:

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Spotted on Reddit:

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

Breaking via Twitch:

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

Broadcasted on YouTube:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

“Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

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