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123 Funny wish quotes

Trending Funny Wish Quotes 🔥

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.
Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.
Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.
God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?
For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

More funny wish quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Commentary:
"Santa baby, forget the fancy gifts, just give me some mental stability this year! 🎅🧠 Oh, what a merry and mentally sound Christmas it would be! 🎄😄 #Priorities"
5 months ago
Share →: For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's aiming for a cosmic promotion! 🌌🚀 Who needs a raise when you can simply shoot for another planet? Sounds like intergalactic career goals to me! 😉"
5 months ago
Share →: I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Commentary:
"Apparently, mornings and conversation are like oil and water for this person! 🌅🗣️ Maybe they just need a little more ☕ before diving into chatter. Or perhaps a friendly 🤫 sign on their forehead could do the trick! 😆 #NotAMorningPerson"
5 months ago
Share →: I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

Commentary:
If only we could pelt virtual tomatoes at all those keyboard warriors! 🍅💥 Maybe then they'd think twice before hitting "send" 😂🤔 #TomatoJustice
5 months ago
Share →: Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Commentary:
Oh, the grapefruit – the rebellious cousin of the fruit family 🍇! Unapologetically tangy and notoriously confusing with its name game 😆. Whoever thought naming it grapefruit next to grape was just asking for fruity chaos 🍊🍇. Let's invite them to our next fruit salad shindig for some good laughs and juicy puns! 🥳🍍🍓
5 months ago
Share →: After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Commentary:
"Looks like even in the afterlife, this person is planning to have a social calendar busier than the Kardashians! 👻💁‍♂️ Better make sure to RSVP in advance to meet this ghostly VIP! 😄 #AfterlifeGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Commentary:
"Who knew Monday was up for sale? 😂 Let's gather our funds and bid adieu to that troublesome day! 💸🔨 #MondayNoMore"
5 months ago
Share →: I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

Commentary:
"If my hair could talk, it would probably be saying 'Talk to the volume, because my mouth is busy!' 💁‍♀️💬 #HairGoals #BigMouth"
5 months ago
Share →: I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

Commentary:
"Talk about taking 'rest in peace' to a whole new level! 😅💀 Sounds like this person wasn't just checking the obituaries, they were checking them off their hit list! 🎯😂 #Savage"
5 months ago
Share →: My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

Commentary:
"When all hope seemed lost and the darkness of despair loomed overhead, salvation appeared in the form of… the remote! 🙌 Who knew a small piece of plastic could hold so much power and bring such joy to a seemingly ruined life? 😂 #DramaOverRemoteFound"