156 Funny workplace quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

  Commentary:
  🤭 Whoops, that moment when your casual agreement turns into a surprise mission impossible! Just like saying "sure, I'll just climb Mount Everest in my lunch break, no problem" and then reality hits like a ton of bricks! 🏔️😅 #UnderestimatedMyself

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  5 months ago

  Share →: You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

  Commentary:
  "Imagine walking around with a 'mute' button, ready to boop anyone who's being too chatty! 🤫👆 Annoying coworker? Boop! Traffic jam? Boop! The possibilities are endless… 😂 #MuteButtonMagic"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

  Commentary:
  Hmm, I hope your coworker didn't take that comment as a job application! 🙈 Remember, it's all fun and games until HR gets involved! 😂 #OfficeShenanigans

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  5 months ago

  Share →: A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

  Commentary:
  "A micromanager is like a gardener who trims away all the flowers and wonders why the garden looks bare 🌸🌿 Don't be surprised if your top talent decides to take a stroll to a more welcoming garden! 🚶‍♂️💼"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

  Commentary:
  "Well, who knew incompetence could be the key to success in the corporate world? 🤷‍♂️ Maybe it's time to start making intentional mistakes! 😉 #PromotionByAccident"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

  Commentary:
  Looks like the boss is taking the phrase "silence is golden" a bit too seriously! 🤫 Who knew increasing morale could involve reducing communication? 🤔 Maybe they're trying out a new approach to team building – the power of awkward silence! 🙊 Just remember, absence makes the heart grow fonder… or in this case, the office grow quieter! 🤣

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  5 months ago

  Share →: “Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the sweet satisfaction of beating the email to the punch! 😄📧 Ignoring emails like a pro! Keep scrolling, buddy! 😉 #EmailIgnored"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like your mom's got your colleagues beat in the job security department! 😂👦👧 Who knew family ties could be so enduring at work? Time to start navigating the office jungle gym without climbing over one another! 🐒🌿 #MomKnowsBest"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic case of official job title skepticism! 🕵️‍♂️ Maybe your 'boss' is just a really convincing cosplayer? 🤔 Remember, anyone can claim to be a boss, but leading with style and influence is what truly makes you the boss! 💼💪"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew that a simple box of donuts could reveal our true selves? 👀🍩 It’s like a delicious mirror reflecting back our inner donut-devouring monster! 😂 Embrace the chaos, embrace the sugar rush!"

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