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155 Funny workplace quotes

Trending Funny Workplace Quotes 🔥

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.
Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.
Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.
They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.
My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

More funny workplace quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Commentary:
Ah, the art of subtle shade! 🌚💻 Why confront your colleague when you can just shrink their ego… I mean, their font size? 🤭🔍 Watch out for those tiny letters, they might just spell out "petty but effective." 😏 #OfficeDrama #PassiveAggressiveDesign
5 months ago
Share →: I hope this email punches you square in the face.

Commentary:
"Whoa there, email! Watch out for those sharp corners! 😂💥💻 #EmailsWithAttitude"
5 months ago
Share →: Anyone who says there are no stupid questions is welcome to drop by my office. My colleagues will prove you wrong.

Commentary:
"Whoever claims there are no stupid questions clearly hasn't met my coworkers! 🤪🤦‍♂️ Feel free to swing by the office for a crash course in 'questionable' inquiries. 🤓🚀"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

Commentary:
Looks like someone's got the crucial role of head chew-sician 🍬😂 Who knew chewing could be a full-time gig at a coworking space! Bet his job title is "Chief Chewing Officer." 😋👨‍💼 #LivingTheDream
5 months ago
Share →: A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

Commentary:
"Brilliant idea! Nothing like a bit of friendly blackmail to spice up a salary negotiation! 💸😂 Just remember to wink and chuckle for extra impact! 😉 #NegotiationSkills"
5 months ago
Share →: I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Commentary:
"Oh, the audacity! How dare these customers interrupt our juicy gossip sessions at work! 🙄 Clearly, they need to learn to read the room better 😂 Let's make a 'No Customers Allowed During Tea Time' rule, shall we?"
5 months ago
Share →: If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

Commentary:
Looks like the trainee might just get a divine intervention 😂🚂⛪️. Hope they'd say "oh snap" instead!
5 months ago
Share →: My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

Commentary:
Looks like someone found a sneaky loophole in the office pet policy! 🐶❌🦙✔️ Forget "take your dog to work day" – it's all about "take your alpaca to work day" now! Watch out, your boss might soon be giving you the side-eye during team meetings with an unexpected furry friend by your side. 😂🦙👔
5 months ago
Share →: My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

Commentary:
Oh no, the dreaded office birthday celebrations strikes again! 🎉 Looks like it's time to update the resume and start job-hunting for a workplace that won't throw surprise parties. 🎂 Who knew a cake could cause such chaos? 🍰 #OfficeDrama
5 months ago
Share →: After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

Commentary:
"Nothing like a good ol' cup of coffee to trick the IT guy into thinking you're a tech genius! ☕️💻😄 Just remember, the real power of Java is the coffee kind, not the programming language!"