153 Funny workplace quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

  Commentary:
  "Just imagine waddling out of the aquarium with a cute little penguin peeking out from under your shirt like 'Surprise!' 🐧😂 Who needs pockets when you have a penguin pal!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like the Pope missed out on scoring some divine holiday bonuses this year! 🎅🎄🎁 #PopeProblems"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

  Commentary:
  "If only we lived in a purr-fect world where we could use our feline instincts to handle office conflicts! 😼 Just imagine the satisfaction of swatting away those annoying emails and deadlines! 🐾 #MeowtivationMonday"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

  Commentary:
  "Want to assert your authority at work? Simply beat your coworkers to the punch by pointing out their sleepy eyes before they can even mention yours. It's all about that pre-emptive strike, folks! 💪😏 #OfficePowerMoves"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a ticket to the zoo when you have a front-row seat to the wild antics of your colleagues in the office jungle! 🐒🦁 Save money, stay entertained, and perhaps even learn a thing or two about the fascinating species that is 'the co-worker.' 🤣 #OfficeSafari"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

  Commentary:
  "Subject: Re: Meeting Minutes 📝
  Message: Great insights, team! 🤔 Ya think? 😂💡 #EmailHumor"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

  Commentary:
  "Office jobs: where paper cuts are considered extreme sports 📄💥 Don't underestimate the danger lurking in the seemingly innocent world of staplers and binders! 💼😆"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the infamous customer service face slap allowance – because sometimes a well-timed *smack* is worth a thousand words! 💥😂 But hey, let's stick to our delightful smiles and polite responses instead, shall we? 😉 #CustomerServiceChallenges"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs expensive vacations when you have a trusty hand stamper to create the illusion of a wild nightlife? 😄💼 #OfficeLifeGoals #StampingMyWayToAdventure"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

  Commentary:
  "Can you picture the chaos at an IKEA team building event? 🤯 Participants trying to assemble a teamwork tower but ending up with a dysfunctional chair! 😂 It would definitely test their patience and bond them through the shared struggle of understanding cryptic instructions! 🛠️😆 #TeamworkFail"

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