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Commentary:
"Trying to use plastic wrap effectively feels like attempting a magic trick that always ends in frustration and tangled mess 🤯🪄♻️ Maybe we need some wizardry lessons to master this elusive kitchen sorcery! 🔮🌯"

confusion, everyday, everyday life, humor, i, kitchen, life, people, plastic, plastic wrap, struggle, wrap

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

1 month ago

accordingly, accordion, act, acting, better, communication, emoji, expectation, humor, i, means, start, text
Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

2 months ago

account, bank, deposit, finance, happiness, humor, irony, money, wealth
Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

2 months ago

city, city life, crosswalk, downtown, hope, humor, life, puddle, sarcasm, signals, suggestions, water, welcome, where
Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

1 month ago

babe, distraction, enrichment, humor, nightly, phone, relationship, time
The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.

5 months ago

before, disappointment, dream, great, humor, irony, nightmare, only, sleep, thing, waking, waking up, worse
I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

2 months ago

am, ambition, body, done, humor, i, laziness, motivation, naps, person, productivity, sleep, struggle, take, times, trapped

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I handed in my exam blank so that the teacher has more time to celebrate Christmas with her family.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Is this art or trash?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

Used to wonder why my parents couldn’t grasp technology, but now, anytime I see something new, I’m like, “I’m not learning that.”

Trending via Slack:

Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Seen just now on Messenger:

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

Breaking via Twitch:

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not so sure anymore.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

You guys ever play a game for hours straight? You start hallucinating the sounds.

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

One sec, lemme just find the off switch for my brain.

Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

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I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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