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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

No amount of daylight can save us.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Friends with consequences.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,520

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

Going viral on Messenger:

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

Trending via Instagram:

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

Just shared via Pinterest:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Spotted on WeChat:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Just landed via YouTube:

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.

I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

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I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Trying to use plastic wrap effectively feels like attempting a magic trick that always ends in frustration and tangled mess 🤯🪄♻️ Maybe we need some wizardry lessons to master this elusive kitchen sorcery! 🔮🌯"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Slack this month:

“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting.

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

43 shares on Threads this month:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

The greatest trick ever was making people feel more connected, when they are actually more alone than ever.

61 shares on YouTube this month:

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Heavy on the ‘mhm,’ cause people just be talking.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Thanks to social media, you can now meet weirdos from the comfort of your own home.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

An alcoholic morning show host becoming Secretary of War is some Kurt Vonnegut shit.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Your password must contain a character… with a tragic backstory.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,477

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

“Yeah no” is my favorite combo.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Name something cuter than a baby in a bucket hat on the beach.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Nudes are played out. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

First date idea: you transfer me all your crypto.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

Trending via Instagram:

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

Making waves on X:

Raising a teenager is like nailing pudding to the wall.

Spotted on X:

Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

Just landed via Instagram:

I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand T-shirt. She couldn’t even name three other main causes of the outbreak of World War I.

Trending via WhatsApp:

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

Trending via WeChat:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

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