Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the rare moment when a husband willingly opens the door to being corrected… Such a brave soul! 🤣 Here's to seizing those precious opportunities with gusto! 💁‍♀️🔥"

communication, correct, humor, husband, i, love, marriage, me, opportunity, pass, relationship, wrong

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad decision, decision, excuse, humor, me, procrastination, self-deprecation, today
I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

0

2 months ago

acceptance, again, attitude, frustration, humor, i, just, mad, ok, reaction
I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, drugs, fact, going, humor, i, kids, lessons, life, life lessons, parenting, realization, repercussions, warning
Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

0

2 months ago

conversation, food, french, humor, joke, know, talk, toast
He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

0

2 months ago

clicking, court, distraction, honor, humor, judge, minute, pen, times, trial
Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

0

2 months ago

complain, forget, humor, Monday, motivation, stress, today, whine, workweek

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on X this month:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

66 shares on X this month:

There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

21 shares on Messenger this month:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

75 shares on Slack this month:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

The day after Christmas is a dangerous morning to be a microwave.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

My middle finger salutes you.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Life hack: You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday.

Shared recently on Telegram:

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

Going viral on Discord:

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨