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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

32 minutes ago

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

Just landed via TikTok:

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

Spotted on Discord:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

Just landed via Discord:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Trending via Facebook:

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

Going viral on Slack:

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

Breaking via Telegram:

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

Just shared via TikTok:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

5 months ago

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, absolutely! 🧦🌀🚪 Socks mysteriously disappearing in the laundry can only mean one thing… They must be embarking on secret adventures through the elusive washing machine portal! Next time you do laundry, keep an eye out for any interdimensional travelers trying to hitch a ride on your clothes! 🕵️‍♂️✨

another, appliance, dimension, household, household appliance, humor, laundry, laundry humor, machine, missing, missing socks, portal, sock, socks, washing, washing machine

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

32 minutes ago

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

I once broke up with a guy because he ate half my french fries, and when I get really lonely, I still think about those french fries.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

Just shared via YouTube:

Vote for me and I’ll remove all the calories from cheese.

Trending via Pinterest:

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

Spotted on Slack:

I dropped and broke my phone today. Hurt more than childbirth!

Spotted on Discord:

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

Reported on Twitch:

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

Just shared via WeChat:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Spotted on YouTube:

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

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