Trendy Funny Quotes

  • In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.
  • My wife almost fell down the stairs today and that got us into a heated argument whether my gasp was out of concern or excitement.
  • French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.
  • Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.
  • I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.
  • When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.