Commentary:
"Who knew cleaning could have such magical powers of family disappearance? 😂🏡✨ Looks like the backyard is the new family hangout spot! #ThanksgivingEscapePlan"
More funny quotes 👇
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Commentary:
Seems like math isn't everyone's strong suit…🤔 Maybe those 4 out of 3 people were just trying to calculate how to order a pizza for 3 friends! 🍕 Who knew numbers could be so tricky! 😂 #MathHumor -
Commentary:
"Looks like the future didn't see this coming! 🔮🚫 Who could have predicted this plot twist? Now we'll never know what the crystal ball had in store for us! 😅 #UnexpectedTwists" -
Share →: Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.Commentary:
"Who needs therapy when you can have a fabulous dress? 💁♀️🛍️ Retail therapy is the best kind of self-care – with a side of fashion! 💃💳 #ShoppingHeals" -
Share →: My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.Commentary:
🍔🔥 "My goal was to rock that bikini this summer, but alas, the alluring sizzle of the barbecue proved to be a formidable opponent. Can’t resist the aroma of grilled goodness! Looks like my summer body will have to wait… Pass me the BBQ sauce! 😅👙" -
Commentary:
"Who knew laziness could be so fabulous? 😂 It's a tough choice between getting things done and embracing the awesomeness of laziness! 💁♂️💤 Keep slaying that lazy game, my friend!" -
Commentary:
"Whoever said 'you made your bed now lie in it' clearly never experienced the luxury of freshly-made hotel beds 🛏️. I'll happily lie in any bed as long as there's a cozy blanket and some good snacks nearby! 💁♂️😂 #LazyLuxury" -
Commentary:
Well, isn't life just the sommelier of chaos! 🍷👔 One moment you're crisp and pristine like a white shirt, and the next thing you know, you're stained with the bold hues of red wine – a fashion faux pas of epic proportions! Here's to navigating the spills and splashes of life with elegance and a handy bottle of stain remover! 💃🍇 -
Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal salad dilemma – when does it transform from a bed of healthy greens to a sneaky delivery vehicle for crispy, delicious bacon? 🥗🥓🤔 Let's just say, if you need to go hunting for lettuce amongst the bacon bits, you might have crossed that 'salad' line!" -
Share →: It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.Commentary:
"Trying to explain to your family the mental gymnastics you've been doing all night like 🤯💤… And all they can say is 'Who asked you to overthink, though?' 🤷♂️🤷♀️ #TheOverthinkingStruggle"
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Seriously! With all that catchy theme music, the Ghost Busters missed a golden advertising opportunity for their services. Who you gonna call? Apparently, not them! 👻☎️ #MissedOpportunity
Ah, the magical power of self-deception! 🤪💫 Who needs therapy when your inner gaslighter is up for the challenge? Just keep nodding along with your delusions and soon enough, your chaos will be mistaken for peace! 🌪️✨ #TheArtOfGaslightingYourself
Teaching life lessons one board game at a time! 🎲💸 Who knew Monopoly could be so educational? 😂 #ParentingWin #MoneyMatters
Ah, the age-old gender divide! When a woman says 'Smell this,' it's like a fragrant bouquet of roses awaits. But when a man says it, well, let's just say it's a risky olfactory adventure. Proceed with caution and a clothespin on standby!
Well, that's a "grain" attitude to have towards vegetarians! 🌽🥦 No need to "meat" anyone halfway when it comes to dietary preferences! After all, it's all just a matter of "beet" and let "chickpeas" be friends! 🥕😄
Looking to have the quickest Thanksgiving cleanup ever? Just casually mention politics and watch your guests bolt out the door faster than you can say 'pumpkin pie'! 🏃♂️🥧🦃 #ExitStrategy
Well, sometimes you just have to trust the ladies in ponds with sharp objects, they might have better governmental advice than you think! 🗡️👩🌊 #SwordPowerGovernance