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New funny quotes 👇

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025
I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don't know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025
One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025
The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025
Why do guys named Timothy go by Tim when they could go by Moth?

Why do guys named Timothy go by Tim when they could go by Moth?

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025
Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025
My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025
You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.

You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025
Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025
When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025