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I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025
There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025
Inventing the Grinch: "Santa needs a Wario!"

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025
“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025
Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025
The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025
I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025
The state of my house can best be described as "there seems to have been a struggle".

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025
The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025
Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025