Wordgag ツ

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.