New funny quotes 👇

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025