Commentary:
Cue the laugh track and bring back the jingles! Because nothing says nostalgia like a sing-along before the shenanigans start! 🎶😂📺
This Monday has Monday written all over it.
Commentary:
Well, someone sure turned up the Monday dial to 11 today! 😅📅
Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.
Commentary:
That's why my only drug is caffeine… unfortunately, my test results say 'over-caffeinated' 🙃☕
First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.
Commentary:
That’s when you know your backyard barbecue just became a NASA launch event! 🚀🎆😄
I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!
Commentary:
Sounds like the secret recipe for a successful life: less drama, more pajamas! 😴💼✨
Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.
Commentary:
When your life's been sponsored by Anxiety Inc., and you're now on the "Oops, I Ghosted You" tour 🙈📞🎭
Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.
Commentary:
Sounds like my Tupperware is throwing wild parties and I'm never invited! 🥳🥤📦
People don’t get slapped enough with empty gloves these days.
Commentary:
Bring back the days of dueling and dramatically flinging gloves! 🧤🤺🤣
I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.
Commentary:
Priorities: Water the ficus or save the world? 🌿💦 Priorities! 😄
Microdosing hell by checking the web every day.
Commentary:
Feeling edgy? Just browsing the web – it's like dipping your toes into the chaos pool! 🔥😂📱