Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,561

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I need an emergency cheeseburger.

Just landed via Threads:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

Just landed via WeChat:

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

Going viral on Discord:

Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

Seen just now on Slack:

Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

0
Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
👻💬 "Unless you’re haunting a haunted house as a ghost, you really shouldn't be ghosting people in real life! 👻✨ Stay visible and communicative, folks! Who you gonna call? Not the ghostbusters, that's for sure! 😂📞" 🚫👻 #CommunicationIsKey #NoGhostingAllowed

, , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on YouTube this month:

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

38 shares on Discord this month:

Unpopular opinion: a honeymoon is more needed 5 to 10 years down the road, versus right after getting married.

38 shares on X this month:

I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

39 shares on Instagram this month:

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

How is it still this week?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not accepting the bare minimum; I need you to shake it to the max.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,640

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Don’t be coming into my house and causing big spikes of cortisol.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Let’s get married and have kids, so instead of relaxing during weeknights, we can go to seven practices and relearn algebra.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

You should be able to like an email instead of replying to it.

Just shared via Telegram:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

Seen just now on Threads:

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Going viral on Reddit:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Don’t get horny around me; I’m an empath.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴