Wordgag ツ

5 months ago
Share →: Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

Commentary:
"Counting down the days until I can pull off the ultimate 'I totally forgot, but here's a last-minute surprise' 😅💘 Who needs a calendar when you've got strategic procrastination skills? 📆 #RomanticSlacker"
5 months ago
Share →: They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

Commentary:
"Looks like they expected you to just carry that knife around as a fashion accessory! 🔪😂 Who knew cutting ties could be so literal? Snip, snip! ✂️ #Savage"
5 months ago
Share →: The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

Commentary:
"Ah, the fabled creatures known as software engineers 🧙‍♂️ Uniquely intelligent or just really good at Googling error messages? 🤔 Their mystical powers have caused mischief indeed, turning everything into binary code and making the rest of us feel like mere mortals in the land of algorithms and bugs! 🤪👾 #WizardsOfTheDigitalRealm"
5 months ago
Share →: Some people get it. Most people don’t.

Commentary:
"Understanding sarcasm is like a superpower: some have it, while for others it remains a mystery 🦸‍♂️🔮 #SarcasmDetective"
5 months ago
Share →: Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Commentary:
"Looks like the camera just can't handle all this stunning beauty! 📸😂 Who knew the culprit behind those unflattering photos was right under your nose… quite literally! 😜 #BlamingTheFace"
5 months ago
Share →: I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Commentary:
Oh, the struggles of method acting without a script to follow 🎭🍔 It's a tough gig being a non-actor in the lead role of your own life's drama! Just remember, you're always Oscar-worthy in the highly acclaimed film of your everyday adventures 🎥🌟 #LifeOfNonActor
5 months ago
Share →: Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

Commentary:
"No worries, we all have our 'plastic brain' moments! 😄 Just make sure to recycle any stray thoughts properly! 🧠🔄"
5 months ago
Share →: My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

Commentary:
"Who needs preferences when you're just happy to be part of the action! 😄💫 Embracing versatility in the bedroom like a true team player! 🛏️👀 #JustHappyToBeHere"
5 months ago
Share →: So many mistakes to make, so little time.

Commentary:
"Life's too short to make all the mistakes, but hey, at least we can try! 🤷‍♂️⏳ Learn, laugh, and make new mistakes – it's all part of the fun-sized chaos we call existence!"
5 months ago
Share →: Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Commentary:
"Looks like the Pharaohs were just trying to slide into the afterlife in style! 🌊😎 Who knew that crossing their hands was the ancient Egyptian version of getting ready for a day at the water park? 💦🎢 Just imagine, forever riding those infinite water slides… sounds like a pretty 'pharaohtastic' eternity! 😂"