Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.
  • Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.
  • If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?
  • Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.
  • In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.
  • You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.