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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” then start drawing a pentagram in blood on their floorboards.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,651

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

Spotted on Messenger:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

Spotted on YouTube:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

Going viral on YouTube:

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

Just landed via TikTok:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

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Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, that's a real "orange-inal" question! 🍊🤔 It's a classic case of the chicken and the egg, but in this case, it's the orange and the color orange. So, are oranges named after the color, or is the color named after the fruit? It's a juicy debate that might leave you feeling a bit zesty! 🧡😄

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Facebook this month:

Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

Turning in bad essays to professors you have a personal relationship with is the most humiliating thing ever.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

My psych professor asked if we’d heard of Pavlov. I said, “It rings a bell.” No one laughed; I’m too witty for this class.

91 shares on Discord this month:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

“Do you like using Twitter?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

35 shares on Slack this month:

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

This entire “presidency” is like being tied to a chair and watching a toddler play with a loaded pistol.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

This world is extremely kind to men, so I am not.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,722

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

Seen just now on YouTube:

If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Spotted on Instagram:

Wait, making the right choices is an option?!

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Trending via YouTube:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Going viral on Twitch:

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

Live now on Discord:

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

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