Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.
  • I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.
  • That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.
  • Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?
  • My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.
  • It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.