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Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
Jan 19, 2025
When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.
Jan 19, 2025
I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.
Jan 19, 2025
I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”
Jan 19, 2025
I need money, not feelings.
Jan 19, 2025
If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
Jan 19, 2025
How can I be ready for the future when I'm not even ready to get up in the morning?
Jan 19, 2025
The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.
Jan 19, 2025
You know the nap is good when it left you marks.
Jan 19, 2025
Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.
Jan 19, 2025