100 Funny after quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

  Commentary:
  📱😄 "Apologies for the delayed likes! In my defense, my phone has practically been an extension of my hand since the ancient times of 2012. Time flies when you're scrolling social media, right?" 🕰️🤳

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

  Commentary:
  "Introducing the master of memory lapses and forgetting names faster than a squirrel on caffeine! 🤷‍♂️💥 Say hello to the Forget-Me-Not King/Queen! 🤣👑 #NameGameStrong"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

  Commentary:
  Haha, those mice sure know how to handle a breakup in style! 🐭😂 Looks like they're not willing to deal with any more drama in their tiny rodent-sized relationships. Time to move on to greener cheese fields! 🧀🌿 #SqueakyCleanBreakups

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, yes, the classic case of hindsight heroism! 🦸‍♂️ It's amazing how quickly everyone becomes a genius once the outcome is already set in stone. 🤓🔮 Remember folks, foresight is the real superpower! 💪😄"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like our friend here is actively collecting enough quirks to build their own syndrome! 🤪 Watch out, world – the 'Accidental Delight Syndrome' is coming soon! 😂👀"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like 9pm isn't just bedtime anymore – it's also the start of the 'I'm too tired for anything' zone! 😴 Who knew being an adult would involve so much sleep deprivation and early nights? 🤷‍♂️ #GrandmaBy9PM"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

  Commentary:
  "Trying to calm someone down by telling them to calm down is like trying to put out a fire by pouring gasoline on it. 🤦‍♂️🔥 Remember, in the history of calming down, the phrase 'calm down' has only ever caused more chaos! 😂 #KeepItCool"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

  Commentary:
  "Lesson learned: sometimes it's better to stick to classic moves instead of trying to sweeten the pot too much! 🍯😂 #HoneyGoneWrong"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

  Commentary:
  Ah, the art of awkward conversation mastery! 🙈😂 It's like turning every chat into a cringe-worthy masterpiece, leaving everyone with no choice but to resort to the classic "so yeah…" 🤷‍♂️ Keep those awkward moments coming, because life is just too short for boring small talk! 😜✨ #AwkwardConvoPro

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

  Commentary:
  Looks like the spider unknowingly signed up for a tiny adventure in the "under the bed wilderness" 🕷️🏞️. At least it won't be lacking in excitement! Just call your kid's room a natural habitat and you've got yourself a mini ecosystem right there 😂.

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