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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Dear wallet, please get pregnant.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Leaving your house and returning back safely is such an underrated blessing.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

We’re so close to “Let’s circle back next year” season, I can taste it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,647

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

Trending via Twitch:

Situation monitoring is not for the uncaffeinated.

Going viral on Telegram:

Sometimes I wonder if the strangers I see when I go outside are actually the people I talk to online.

Just shared via Facebook:

Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?

Trending via Threads:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

Freshly posted on X:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

Just landed via Telegram:

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”

Breaking via Facebook:

To everyone who opens the fridge, stares, and closes it hoping new snacks will appear… You’re my people.

Funny ambulance quotes

Funny ambulance quotes 🚑💨 bring a hilarious twist to life-saving moments! Whether you’re a first responder, healthcare pro, or just love a good laugh, these witty lines add humor to the fast-paced world of sirens and emergencies. Get ready to smile 😄, chuckle 🤭, and see ambulances in a whole new light with jokes that keep the mood light, even when things get intense. Ready for some 🚨 LOLs? Let’s dive in!

New funny ambulance quotes 👇

All funny ambulance quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Instagram this month:

Please have a seat and witness my self-destruction firsthand.

84 shares on Discord this month:

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

94 shares on WeChat this month:

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

70 shares on Threads this month:

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

40 shares on Instagram this month:

Just seen a guy with a Coca-Cola and yellow Lay’s chips. Classic combo, he knows his stuff.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

43 shares on Discord this month:

“Is everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

So stupid how New York is actually as cool as everyone says.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s funny how everyone who was all about Christmas a week ago is suddenly into New Year’s now.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Unpopular opinion: we really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,582

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Women will be like “I know a spot,” and then take you directly to hell.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Unfollowing high school people really is a form of self-care.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

Seen just now on Threads:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Shared recently on Facebook:

Every man learns for himself the uselessness of owning an iPad.

Just landed via Discord:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on the bus do not go round and round.

Spotted on Threads:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

Live now on Facebook:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Live now on Telegram:

Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a good haircut.

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