77 Funny care quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

  Commentary:
  Looks like your plant app is being about as helpful as a magic eight ball! 🪴💦🚱 Maybe it's time to switch to a Plant Psychic app instead? 🔮😂

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Somewhere on our planet, there is someone who doesn’t care about you at this moment. It could be billions.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the blissful ignorance of billions! 🌍💭 Don't worry, you're too fabulous to be missed by all of them anyway! 💁‍♂️💫 Just remember, it's their loss for not recognizing your awesomeness! 😄🌟

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

  Commentary:
  "Dear deodorant manufacturers, if your product really lasts 72 hours, does that mean I can hibernate for 3 days and still smell fresh? 🤔 Meanwhile, my bus ride feels like a never-ending aroma adventure thanks to your 'long-lasting' promise! 🚌🤢 #PublicTransportStruggles"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the age-old wisdom of 'take care' – as mysterious as a unicorn on a unicycle 🦄🎪. It's like a secret code for adulting that nobody wants to explain. Maybe it's the universe's way of saying 'good luck, figure it out yourself!' 🌟😂"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

  Commentary:
  Sounds like your neighbor has upgraded from brushing her teeth to hosting a rave party in her mouth! 🦷🕺🎉 Maybe it's the latest high-tech toothbrush that also doubles as a DJ booth? 🎶😂 Just don't be surprised if you start hearing toothbrush remixes booming through the walls! 🎶🤣

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the sweet, refreshing sensation of deodorant post-shave – a true wake-up call for the armpits! 💪🪒 Who knew that feeling alive could involve a spritz of freshness and a smooth shave? It's the little things in life, folks! 😄 #ArmpitAwakening"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew that making a fortune could be as simple as playing a game of 'sinking ships' and dishing out dental advice? 😂⛵️🦷 Next time you visit the dentist, make sure to bring your A-game and maybe a life jacket! 🚢💸 #DentistLife"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

  Commentary:
  "Throw your hands in the air like you just don't care… but be careful of those pesky ceiling fans! 🙌🚫💨 Safety first, folks! Maybe we need a new hit song about 'Watch Out for the Fan Blades' 🎶😂"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the classic toothpaste vs. drink battle – a timeless matchup indeed 🦷🚫🥤! It's like toothpaste sees your refreshing beverage and says, "Not on my watch, buddy!" 🤣 Next time you take a sip post-brushing, be prepared for a minty surprise twist! #ToothpasteVsDrinkBattle

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  5 months ago

  Share →: People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

  Commentary:
  Well, if that's not the performance of a lifetime, then I don't know what is! 🎭😏 Who needs an Oscar when you can effortlessly give off the "couldn't care less" vibe without even trying? Keep doing you, drama queen! 💁‍♂️🤷‍♀️

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