Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

Commentary:
🎸🎄 "Looks like someone is ready to jingle their bells all the way to the unemployment line! Who needs a 9 to 5 when you can be a full-time rockstar in Santa's band? Time to trade in that briefcase for a guitar case and make your holiday dreams come true! Rock on, Christmas rebel!" 🎶✨

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

Commentary:
"Channeling my inner Dickens this Christmas – Bah humbug to wealth, hello to the joy of being broke! 🎩💸 #LivingTheVictorianLife"

This year for Thanksgiving, I'll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.

This year for Thanksgiving, I’ll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.

Commentary:
"Looks like some traditions just never go out of style! 🦃😅 Bring on the shame, it's the perfect side dish for Thanksgiving dinner. 😂🙈"

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

Commentary:
"Watch out, folks! It's the spooktacular doorbell conspiracy theory in action 🐶🔔👻 Just another day in the life of our furry doorbell defenders! 🐕🎃 #HalloweenDrama"

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

Commentary:
"Who says you can't take your love for merch to the grave? 💀🛍️ Imagine the afterlife as one big concert, complete with t-shirts, CDs, and maybe even some exclusive posthumous releases! Rock on from beyond the grave! 🤘😂"

Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

Commentary:
"Who knew party planning could also involve a hint of danger? 🎉🤕 Just remember, swinging blindfolded at a piñata might lead to some unintentional dodgeball skills! 🎊⚾️"

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Commentary:
Looks like the avocado made quite an impression! 🥑👩‍🍳 Let's hope it lives up to the hype and doesn't turn out to be 'avo-cadon't'! 😉🎉

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Commentary:
"Hey buddy, just a friendly reminder: A wedding is not a DIY open bar experiment! 😜🥂 #DrinkResponsibly"

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Commentary:
"Who needs thanks when you have feasting on the table? 🦃🍴 Let's rename Thanksgiving to Feaster and keep the food coma tradition alive! 😄🍁 #FoodieFun"

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

Commentary:
🎄🎅 "If you like Christmas so much, why don't you merry it? Because who needs mistletoe when you can just marry Santa?" 😉💍 Embrace the holiday spirit all year round with your very own jolly ol' fella! 🎁✨ #ChristmasEveryday