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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

16 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Just landed via X:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Spotted on YouTube:

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

Making waves on Threads:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Trending via Snapchat:

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Making waves on Discord:

My parents think they know me.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

If I’m not spoken to, my morning grumpiness goes almost unnoticed.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

Making waves on TikTok:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Breaking via TikTok:

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

Live now on Threads:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Spotted on Telegram:

This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

Live now on Slack:

I came, I saw, I was disappointed, so I left.

Making waves on Slack:

I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

Reported on WhatsApp:

If you’re 20, please stop saying you’re tired. I have bananas older than you.

Going viral on Telegram:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

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12 Funny content quotes

More funny content quotes 👇

For even more funny content quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny content quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.

In banana years, I am bread.

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

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