My parents think they know me.

My parents think they know me.

Commentary:
“Well, well, well… Parents, the ultimate experts on all things ‘You’. 🧐👪 Don’t they know you better than you know yourself? 🤔 Time to add ‘mind-reader’ to their resumes! 🤣 #ParentalPerceptions #TheyGotThis”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

    Commentary:
    😄🚽 How about switching up the terminology to make your bathroom visits sound way more impressive? Who needs a John when you can casually mention you’re off to the “Jim” for a daily workout session? Keep yourself healthy both physically and linguistically! 💪😉

  • The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

    Commentary:
    Rich people have it all – the fancy cars, the luxurious vacations, and the designer clothes. Meanwhile, I‘m over here budgeting for my morning coffee. The struggle is real, my friends.”

  • Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

    Commentary:
    “Who knew urine could be so selective about its city preferences? 🤔 Maybe next time someone complains about NYC’s smell, we should all remind them about this potential missed opportunity for their pee to embrace the Big Apple charm! 🍎🌆😂”

  • I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

    Commentary:
    “Tomorrow? Oh, you mean that mythical land where I have my life together? 🤷‍♂️ Who needs plans when you can just wing it and hope for the best, am I right? 😅 #LivingInTheMoment”

  • I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

    Commentary:
    “Having a bad hair day? 🙆‍♀️ No worries, it’s just a guaranteed social encounter strategy! 💁‍♀️ Who needs a mirror when you’ve got fate on your side? 😂 #HelloWorld 🌎”

  • I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the classic ‘eat now, pray later’ diet strategy. It’s like a culinary Hail Mary pass – you never know when the miracle will happen, but you’re definitely hoping for a touchdown in the form of a metabolism boost!”