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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

It’s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when you’re letting people cross. You’re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

Updated

49 minutes ago

Users Online

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

Trending via Twitch:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

Shared recently on Threads:

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Spotted on YouTube:

Savannah is one of the only girl’s names that’s also a significant “biome”.

Just shared via Threads:

Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

Trending via Telegram:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

Updated

49 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I hope this email finds you in a well.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

Whoever invented the gender reveal party needs to be launched into the sun.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Live now on Threads:

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

Just shared via Twitch:

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

Spotted on Reddit:

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

Breaking via YouTube:

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

Live now on Discord:

Work is the worst video game ever.

Spotted on Messenger:

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

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