49 Funny couple quotes

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Date night idea: fight another couple.

  Commentary:
  "Looking for a more exciting date night? How about spicing things up by challenging another couple to a friendly battle of wits and charm? 👫💥 Just make sure to agree on rules beforehand, or you might end up with a date night you'll never forget…for all the wrong reasons! 😉 #DoubleTrouble"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

  Commentary:
  "Counting down the days until I can pull off the ultimate 'I totally forgot, but here's a last-minute surprise' 😅💘 Who needs a calendar when you've got strategic procrastination skills? 📆 #RomanticSlacker"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the fine art of rolling eyes – some achieve it through romance, others through sheer annoyance. It's all about perspective 😂👀 #EyeRollingExpert"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

  Commentary:
  "Besties who match together, stay crazy together! 🤪🎁👯‍♀️ Who needs matching sweaters when you can twin in straight jackets? 😂 #bffgoals #crazychristmas"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

  Commentary:
  "Sounds like a thrilling read! Just like a rollercoaster ride, buckle up for a wild adventure that is sure to leave you hanging 📚🕵️‍♂️ But hey, at least you made a cameo appearance, right? 💁‍♂️😂"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: (Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

  Commentary:
  "Whoa, diving straight into the deep end of the relationship pool, are we? 💔💬 Better buckle up for this rollercoaster of a conversation, folks! 🎢😂"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

  Commentary:
  "Driving tip of the day: apparently, the road to becoming a pro driver doesn't include hitting curbs and making trash cans nervous. 🚗💨 Who knew, right? Watch out, Formula 1, here comes the trash can demolition derby champ!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew the key to a successful marriage was trading back rubs for takeout orders? 🍱💆‍♂️ Sounds like a deliciously relaxing union, don't you think? Just remember, a happy belly equals a happy heart! ❤️ #MarriageGoals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like it was a ZOOM-out moment for your jokes! 😅 Who knew virtual laughter had such a high latency! 🤷‍♂️ Keep 'em coming though, maybe next time the Wi-Fi signal of humor will be stronger! 📡😂"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

  Commentary:
  🚲 Seeing a couple on a tandem bike always raises the eternal question: who drew the short straw in this pedaling partnership? 😅 It's like a two-wheeled test of patience and teamwork. Just hope they don't hit a bump in the road… or have a tandem tiff! #RidingInSync

For even more funny couple quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny couple quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌