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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New funny quotes: 15656 this month

15,818 funny quotes and pics

17,814 funny quotes topics

Updated: May 29, 2026

 

 

 

 

86 Funny couple quotes

Funny couple quotes are the perfect way to add a sprinkle of laughter 😂 to your relationship! Whether you’re poking fun at love’s quirks or capturing those adorable moments 🥰, these quotes bring smiles and giggles 🤭 to couples everywhere. Perfect for sharing with your partner or spicing up your social media feed, they highlight the humor and joy that come with being in love ❤️. Dive into the world of witty banter and playful jabs!

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Posted onMay 25, 2026

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Date night idea: fight another couple.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

Posted onMay 23, 2026

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

Posted onMay 21, 2026May 21, 2026

Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

Posted onMay 19, 2026

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Unpopular opinion: I do enjoy third-wheeling if the couple is fun.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Dollar Tree needs to just go ahead and rename it to A Couple Dollars.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

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