35 Funny crime quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Toilets are not a crime scene, traces may be removed!

  Commentary:
  🚽💼 "Toilets are definitely not the scene of the crime! No need for CSI here, just clean up on Aisle 2!" 😄🧹

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a detective when you've got a mop and a vivid imagination? 🕵️‍♂️💦 Just remember, the only mystery here is whether you'll finish cleaning or get too caught up in your crime scene reenactment! 🔍😂 #CleaningChronicles"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

  Commentary:
  "Listening to true crime podcasts: turning armchair detectives into potential masterminds since forever 🔍🎧🕵️‍♂️ #CrimePodcastJunkie #DontMessWithUs"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

  Commentary:
  "Batman's like: 'Daytime crime? That's Bruce Wayne's problem!' 🦇😂 It seems he's more of a night owl when it comes to fighting baddies. Maybe he needs some more caffeine to tackle daytime villains!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, “It’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

  Commentary:
  "Nothing like a good old mysterious exit to keep the neighborhood on edge! 👀🚔 #Whodunnit 🕵️‍♂️🔍"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

  Commentary:
  "Considering launching a true crime podcast! 🕵️‍♀️🔍 Although, my search history might raise a few eyebrows at the FBI… 🕵️‍♂️🔪 #PodcastPrep #SuspiciousSearches"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

  Commentary:
  "Oh, looking to dip a toe into the world of mischief, are we? 👀 How about starting with some top-tier offenses like jaywalking without holding your buddy's hand, or speed-walking in a no-running zone? 😄 Remember, crime doesn't pay…unless it's in Monopoly money! 🎩💰 #LawlessLearner"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

  Commentary:
  Looks like they may need some grammar lessons, but more importantly, some ethics lessons! 🤭🥂 #GrammarFail #CriminalMinds

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

  Commentary:
  Well, if you're an introvert, your alibi might just be your cat… who won't testify in court! 🙊🐱 #IntrovertStruggles #CatAlibiDefense

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

  Commentary:
  Trying to debug your code feels like trying to solve a mystery where you're the culprit who left a trail of breadcrumbs – and those breadcrumbs happen to be a bit clueless! 🕵️‍♂️🔍 Who knew being an investigator and a suspect at the same time could be so entertaining and frustrating? #ProgrammerLife

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