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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Bands who can’t afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

“I’m at the age where, if I use the wrong pillow at night, it hurts to turn my head the next day.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

4,005

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

Spotted on Reddit:

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

Live now on Discord:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Just shared via TikTok:

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I do not like how Netflix threatens to start the movie while I’m just tryna read the description. Like, please, you’re making me anxious.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Breaking via Reddit:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Just landed via Pinterest:

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Trending via Snapchat:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

Just shared via YouTube:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

Home » Funny Et Quotes

Funny ET quotes

Funny ET quotes 🚀👽 bring a cosmic blend of humor and heart that’s out of this world! Whether you’re a fan of the adorable alien’s antics or just love a good laugh from space, these quotes will have you saying “phone home” with a smile 😄✨. Get ready to beam up some giggles and share the joy from beyond the stars! 🌟📡

New funny ET quotes 👇

All funny ET quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on X this month:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

Ladies, if you receive flowers with no card on them today, they’re from me.

11 shares on Threads this month:

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

69 shares on Threads this month:

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not alone. I have ants.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I have no beef with vegetarians.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

4,069

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Well, it took several decades, but I might have finally run out of things to say.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

Seen just now on Twitch:

First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

Just landed via Twitch:

Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

Spotted on Messenger:

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

Breaking via Pinterest:

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

Live now on Instagram:

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

Going bananas on Threads:

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

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