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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

Updated

57 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Breaking via Discord:

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

Making waves on Telegram:

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

Just shared via Telegram:

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

Reported on Snapchat:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

Just landed via Telegram:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Reported on Snapchat:

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

Just landed via Messenger:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

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Funny ET quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

Updated

57 minutes ago

Users Online

3,419

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

There are too many neglected emojis.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

Breaking via Snapchat:

My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Seaweed is great for when you want to eat pure salt but wish it had the texture of slime.

Going viral on Threads:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

Going viral on X:

The only difference between hungry and horny is where you insert the cucumber.

Spotted on TikTok:

Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

Reported on Discord:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Spotted on Discord:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

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