358 Funny ever quotes

Funny ever quotes are like the confetti of language, sprinkling a little buzz into the mundane. They’re the cheeky winks from history’s class clowns, the verbal high-fives that transform dull moments into laugh-out-loud memories. Whether you’re seeking a giggle, a snort, or a full-on belly laugh, these gems are your go-to. So grab your favorite beverage, sit back, and dive into a world where words wear clown shoes and every punchline lands like a feather on your funny bone. Get ready to LOL and maybe even ROFL!

The problem with “treat yourself” is that I don’t know how to stop. I had a bad day in March, and I’ve been treating myself ever since.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew I would be fraught with melancholy and nostalgia.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

1 month ago1 month ago

Ever since I learned about the concept of networking, I knew I was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way.

1 month ago1 month ago

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

2 months ago2 months ago

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

2 months ago2 months ago

Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

2 months ago2 months ago

There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one ever.

2 months ago2 months ago

ADHD is when you buy a blender and then make smoothies every day for 2 weeks, and then never make one or even acknowledge your blender ever again.

2 months ago2 months ago

358 Funny ever quotes

No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot.

Nobody in the entire world has ever known what to do with me.

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever watched the teams you hate be first-round exits?

Being alive and sentient has been the worst thing to have ever happened to me.

Websites need to realize that no one ever, ever wants the site to be able to send them notifications.

Lord, take away my suffering and give it to anyone who’s ever said, ‘Hey, Grok.’

You ever cleaned a room in your house so good that you walked out… just to walk back in to see your work?

The problem with “treat yourself” is that I don’t know how to stop. I had a bad day in March, and I’ve been treating myself ever since.

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew I would be fraught with melancholy and nostalgia.

If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.

You ever wake up from your dreams impressed? Like, damn, that narrative structure was phenomenal.

What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.

Software engineers are the dumbest smart people I’ve ever met.

Ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in a galaxy far, far away.

You ever notice how fans of the worst music always focus on the meanings of the songs instead of the actual music?

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

Ever since I learned about the concept of networking, I knew I was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way.

Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried obsessing over a mediocre person who’s just not that into you.

My ducks are not even remotely in a row. My ducks are in places no duck has ever gone before.

Maybe the problem is that I’m cooler than any man I’ve ever met.

Sex is great, but have you ever had your alarm go off and then realize you don’t have to get up today?

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Sure, sex is great, but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper?

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one ever.

ADHD is when you buy a blender and then make smoothies every day for 2 weeks, and then never make one or even acknowledge your blender ever again.

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.