I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

Commentary:
Oh, searching for a cell mate over a soulmate, huh? 🤣 Who needs love when you can have a bunk buddy, am I right? 🤷‍♂️ Just make sure to keep those prison phone calls to a minimum! 🤪 #CellMateGoals

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

Commentary:
"Who knew adulting came with such a hefty price tag of responsibilities and no take-backsies! 🙅‍♂️💸 No refunds on this adulthood adventure, folks! 😂 #GrowingPains #NotWhatISignedUpFor"

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I'll be notified immediately.

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

Commentary:
🚨 Breaking News Alert! 🚨 Just in: someone ordered a life alert bracelet… but not to alert for emergencies, oh no! This person is so prepared that they're getting ready for the life they *might* have someday. 😂 Who knows, maybe that bracelet will go off with confetti and cheers when the day finally comes! 🎉 #LivingMyBestAlarmistLife

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don't feel like folding the clothes yet?

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle between laundry day and procrastination – where even the dryer gets a 'second chance' at drying clothes just to avoid that inevitable folding task! 🙃 #LaundryStruggles #ProcrastinationGoals"

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

Commentary:
"No hard feelings if I ghosted your text, I was just practicing my disappearing act 🎩🐇✨"

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Commentary:
"Sex is cool and all, but have you ever experienced the bliss of starfishing in bed without a care in the world? 🌟😴 Who needs a cuddle buddy when you've got the entire bed for your own personal sprawling adventures? 😂 #BedHogLife"

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic childhood dream of growing up to struggle! 💪🏼👶🏼 Who needs easy street when you can take the scenic route through challenges, am I right? 😅 Keep aiming high, even if that means aiming for a struggle! 🎯 #LifeGoals"

You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

Commentary:
🚶‍♂️🤬 When you’re stuck behind a slow-moving shopper at the grocery store, it's like a whole new level of pedestrian road rage! You find yourself silently debating whether you should overtake them on the left or the right, all while trying to resist the urge to honk your non-existent horn. Ah, the joys of navigating the treacherous aisles of the supermarket at a snail's pace! 😅 #GroceryStoreTrafficJam

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Commentary:
Oh, the struggle of centaur infants – born with a split personality! 🐴👶 Just imagine the chaos as the bipedal bottom half goes trotting off while the upper half is just trying to figure out this whole "neck control" thing. It's a literal case of "getting your legs under you!" 🤣 #CentaursGotCentaurProblems

Ever feel like you're adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you're just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

Commentary:
"Adulting: looking the part on the outside, while inside you're just a hungry child with dinner dreams! 🍕🤣 #AdultingStruggles #ForeverHungry"