Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

To everyone I offended this year: do better next year, so I don’t have to do it again.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Every job is either 8 hours of getting exposed to cancer-causing chemicals or 8 hours of staring at a Microsoft Excel sheet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Dec 23, 2025

4,007

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

Going bananas on Slack:

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

Making waves on Telegram:

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

Going viral on Facebook:

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

Trending via Pinterest:

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m of the very strong opinion that sex ed should be taught by a woman 37 weeks into her third pregnancy, while her husband sits scrolling through his phone, and her other two children run wild.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Old people be like, “No elbows on the table, it’s rude,” then say something racist.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I love when lashes make me look evil.

Spotted on Threads:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Home » Funny Ever Quotes

346 Funny ever quotes

Funny ever quotes are like the confetti of language, sprinkling a little buzz into the mundane. They’re the cheeky winks from history’s class clowns, the verbal high-fives that transform dull moments into laugh-out-loud memories. Whether you’re seeking a giggle, a snort, or a full-on belly laugh, these gems are your go-to. So grab your favorite beverage, sit back, and dive into a world where words wear clown shoes and every punchline lands like a feather on your funny bone. Get ready to LOL and maybe even ROFL!

New funny ever quotes 👇

Software engineers are the dumbest smart people I’ve ever met.

0

5 days ago

dumb, dumbest, engineer, ever, humor, intelligence, met, paradox, people, smart, software, software engineer
Ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in a galaxy far, far away.

0

7 days ago

always, away, childhood, dream, ever, far, far away, galaxy, humor, i, kid, live, sci-fi, space, wanted, wish
Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

0

7 days ago

access, bad, bad music, driver, drivers, ever, humor, joke, music, music taste, ride, ride share, secret, service, share, streaming, streaming service, taste, Uber, Uber driver, worst
Musk goes “exactly,” and it’s the stupidest tweet you’ve ever read in your entire life.

0

7 days ago

Elon, Elon Musk, ever, exactly, humor, internet, internet humor, life, media, musk, read, social, social media, stupid, tweet
You ever notice how fans of the worst music always focus on the meanings of the songs instead of the actual music?

0

1 week ago

actual, always, bad, bad music, behavior, criticism, ever, fan, fan behavior, fans, focus, meaning, music, music criticism, music fan, music taste, notice, song, song meaning, songs, taste, worst
Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

0

2 weeks ago

communication, confession, date, ever, every, honesty, humor, idea, love, me, relationship, tell, thought
Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

0

2 weeks ago

always, ambition, aspiration, childhood, ever, girl, humor, i, little, lot, money, wanted, woman
Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?

0

2 weeks ago

AI, AI evolution, apocalypse, Cloudflare, ever, evolution, fail, humor, imagine, internet, internet outage, joke, kill, outage, survival, tech, tech fail, technology, thing, trying, us
The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

0

2 weeks ago

best, confidence, ever, humor, lose, loss, motivation, opinion, opinions, self, self-confidence, weight, weight loss, wisdom
Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

0

2 weeks ago

around, being, biscuits, eating, ever, food, got, handed, humor, pretend, room, situation, snack, social, social situation, surprise, sweet, sweets, temptation

For even more funny ever quotes, hit next 👇

All funny ever quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Instagram this month:

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

Please leave me alone. I’m just a 3,000-year-old time-traveling alien who is trying to return to his home planet.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

21 shares on Threads this month:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

55 shares on Threads this month:

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

82 shares on X this month:

Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

73 shares on Facebook this month:

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,614

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

There should be a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m not sure what to say to that. Can you please say something different?”.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

Just shared via Facebook:

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

Going viral on X:

I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

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