Funny quotes everything

103 Funny everything quotes

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Funny Quotes Apr 1, 2025

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

Funny Quotes Mar 20, 2025

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

I can resist everything except temptation.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

Funny Quotes Mar 11, 2025

The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.

Funny Quotes Mar 9, 2025

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Funny Quotes Feb 24, 2025

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Funny Quotes Feb 3, 2025

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025