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159 Funny everything quotes

Funny everything quotes take the chaos of life and wrap it in a big, hilarious bow! 😂🎁 Whether it’s “everything’s fine” during a total meltdown, or trying to do everything at once and succeeding at none, these quotes remind us that *everything* can be funny with the right perspective. Because when life gives you everything… it usually comes with a side of ridiculousness! 😆🔥🤹‍♂️

Old age comes at a bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.

Posted on2 days ago2 days ago

I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

Posted on3 days ago3 days ago

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

Posted on2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

Posted on2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

The people that ask Grok everything are the same people that follow Google Map directions straight into a lake.

Posted on2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

Posted on2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

He’s an everything bagel… I’m just a nothing burger…

Posted on2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

Posted on2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

Posted on3 weeks ago3 weeks ago

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

Posted on4 weeks ago4 weeks ago

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

Posted on4 weeks ago4 weeks ago

Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

Posted on1 month ago1 month ago

After ejaculation, men automatically realize that everything is vanity upon vanity.

Posted on1 month ago1 month ago

I hate it when I check my transactions history, and everything adds up like damn, so no one stole from me.

Posted on1 month ago1 month ago

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

Posted on1 month ago1 month ago

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

Posted on1 month ago1 month ago

Born to screenshot everything and never look at it again.

Posted on1 month ago1 month ago

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

Posted on1 month ago1 month ago

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

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