Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Commentary:
"Who knew that feeling good could be such hard work? 🏋️‍♂️🥗💧 Maybe we should just stick to the couch, junk food, and soda for the sake of simplicity. But alas, where's the fun in that? 😂 #TheStruggleIsReal"

Why can't Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I'm trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Commentary:
"Seriously, is there a broccoli convention going on in there or something? 🥦🪴🤔 #BroccoliOverload #BonsaiVsMouthStruggle"

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

Commentary:
"Looks like those spreadsheets were more 'ex-cell' than 'excel'ing! 📊😅 Maybe next time, they'll add up to a better outcome! 😉"

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

Commentary:
☕️💕 Just a casual coffee enthusiast here, sipping on that sweet elixir of life for the pure thrill of it! Who needs energy when you've got the love of the game (and a strong cup of coffee) on your side? Play on, coffee lover, play on! 💪🤣

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

Commentary:
"Hey boy, are you the sun? ☀️ Because just like the sun in summer, you were shining bright in my life ☀️🔥 But now, it feels like you've decided to take a vacation to the other side of the world without warning! 🌍😂 #MIA #SunOrBoy"

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

Commentary:
"Oh, so you're telling me imitation isn't always the sincerest form of flattery? 🤔 Just trying to step into your shoes for a bit…or should I say, your vocal cords? 😂 #AccidentalImpressionist"

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Commentary:
"Ah, parenting: the ultimate crash course in empathizing with your future self 🤒🤢 Who knew that a stomach bug could double as a crystal ball predicting your own misery? The joys of 'shared suffering' with your little germ factories! 😆👨‍👧‍👦 #ParentingProblems #GrossButTrue"

I feel like we're on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Commentary:
🐎🔥 "I swear, the Four Horsemen must have opened a recruitment program at this rate! It's like we're ordering apocalypse riders off a fast-food menu – 'Can I get a side of famine with that, please?' 😂 #EndlessApocalypse"

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of feeling like a grocery store broccoli! 🥦 Just hanging out in the misty rain, trying not to get soggy. Who knew vegetables could have such relatable moments? 😄 #BroccoliGoals"

Elections make you feel like we're all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Commentary:
Ah, elections – the ultimate family drama on a national scale! 🤣 It's like we're all caught in the crossfire of a messy breakup, anxiously waiting to see who ends up with custody of our future. 🗳️💔 Let's just hope they don't make us choose between weekends and holidays! #ElectionDrama #CustodyBattle