Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Had a fight with an erection this morning. Beat it single-handed.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,405

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

Trending via Facebook:

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Just shared via Messenger:

Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

Just landed via Facebook:

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

Going viral on YouTube:

All I want I for Christmas is to go to the mall in 1986.

Going viral on Reddit:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

Going viral on Instagram:

Don’t be ashamed to fart while you urinate, cause there is no rain without thunder.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Trending via Snapchat:

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

Funny fiction quotes

Funny fiction quotes 📚😂 are the perfect recipe to sprinkle laughter into your reading routine! Whether you’re diving into quirky characters or absurd adventures, these witty lines add a splash of humor that makes stories unforgettable. Ready to chuckle, snort, and smile? Let’s celebrate the lighter side of fiction with those clever gems that brighten even the wildest tales! ✨📖😄

New funny fiction quotes 👇

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

0

3 weeks ago

book, book recommendation, books, brain, brain rot, fiction, humor, reading, recommendation, return, rot, self-help, self-help book
I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

0

2 months ago

creative, creative writing, fiction, humor, joke, list, lists, productivity, short, short fiction, to-do, to-do list, writing
Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

0

2 months ago

current, current events, dystopian, events, fiction, humor, media, needs, news, satire, watch
They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

0

2 months ago

alien, credits, entertainment, fiction, fun, humor, joke, least, list, movie, science, science fiction, should, star, Star Wars, wars
As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

0

2 months ago

academic, dream, fiction, grant, humor, i, proposal, remember, sometimes, writing
Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

0

2 months ago

alien, aliens, fiction, here, humor, Jersey, joke, light, light year, new, New Jersey, science, science fiction, travel, visit, year
What was the main bloke called in Harry Potter?

0

2 months ago

bloke, character, comedy, fiction, harry, Harry Potter, humor, main, main bloke, potter, wizard
If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

0

2 months ago

asteroid, back, bruce, Bruce Willis, fiction, humor, i, ID, irony, movie, movie reference, reference, saving, science, science fiction, stop, time, time travel, travel, willis
What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

0

2 months ago

aliens, culture, fiction, fitting, hopes, humor, imagination, invasion, movy, parody, science, science fiction, watch
The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

0

2 months ago

always, best, fact, fairy, fairy tale, fiction, handsome, humor, intelligent, man, prince, proof, romance, single, tale

All funny fiction quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on YouTube this month:

To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.

93 shares on X this month:

Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

26 shares on TikTok this month:

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

34 shares on Messenger this month:

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

74 shares on Messenger this month:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

43 shares on Telegram this month:

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But I’m also losing my eyesight, so it’s not my problem.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe the grass is greener over there because you’re not over there messing it up.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Womansplaining is when a woman tries to explain to you what you’re thinking/feeling, and is just totally 100% wrong.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I have a brain that wants to be alone, and a heart that wants to be loved.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,467

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I am deeply overwhelmed and yet incredibly bored at the same time.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Do you also have teenagers whose styling motto is: freeze to death for coolness?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

Trending via Reddit:

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

Breaking via X:

In banana years, I am bread.

Freshly posted on X:

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

Trending via Messenger:

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

Going viral on Threads:

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

Making waves on Reddit:

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

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