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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2135 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,297

Funny Quotes Topics

15,019

Funny Quotes Images

12,297

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

Just landed via WeChat:

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

Making waves on Discord:

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

Reported on Facebook:

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Spotted on Threads:

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Thought you guys should know this was only Monday. It’s also still Monday.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Trending via LinkedIn:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

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Funny final exam quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2135 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,297

Funny Quotes Topics

15,019

Funny Quotes Images

12,297

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,451

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I put the “sexy” in “dyslexic.”

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

My five-year plan is to get back my whimsy, joy, childlike wonder.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

God saw you do that.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

How many of you also constantly take screenshots of something and then never look at them again?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Freshly posted on Threads:

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Shared recently on Messenger:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Relationship status: he escaped.

Just shared via Threads:

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

Just landed via Facebook:

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

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