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Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.
The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.
If you like constant interruptions when you’re trying to get something done, then parenting might be for you.
When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.
Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

More funny getting quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Commentary:
"Ah, the alluring allure of aging gracefully! 💁‍♂️💕 Embrace those sexy groans and let them be music to your ears… and others' too! 😉🎵 #SilverFox"
5 months ago
Share →: Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

Commentary:
Sweet dreams, lovely humans! Just a friendly reminder that while you're bundling up for the colder nights, some eight-legged friends might be joining you for a cozy slumber party in search of warmth! 🕷️🕸️ Don't worry, they just want a snuggle buddy! 😂💤 #SweetDreamsWithSpiders
5 months ago
Share →: Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of aging – waking up feeling like you've been practicing your bat pose all night 🦇😂 Who knew getting older would come with free neck pain as a bonus gift! Just part of the charming package deal, folks! 🎁 #AgingGracefully"
5 months ago
Share →: Being on Twitter right now is like playing the violin on the Titanic, except we are also making fun of the iceberg and the iceberg is getting genuinely mad.

Commentary:
"Twitter feels like a chaotic symphony where we're all fiddling away while the ship slowly sinks… and to top it off, we're roasting the iceberg! 🎻🚢🧊#TitanicTwitter"
5 months ago
Share →: When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

Commentary:
"Life's greatest mystery: when does wisdom finally decide to show up and pay rent in our brains? 🤔🤓 Until then, we'll just keep collecting more wrinkles and bad jokes! 😂👴🏼"
5 months ago
Share →: Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Commentary:
Ah yes, the beauty of aging gracefully – from wanting to know it all to just wanting to nap it all 😴🧓🏼 Who needs all the answers when you've got comfy slippers and a good book? 📚👵🏼 #WisdomWithAge
5 months ago
Share →: I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

Commentary:
"Looking for a man who can handle my sass and sarcasm without breaking a sweat 🕶️💁‍♀️ Let's see if Prince Charming can handle this whirlwind of charm and chaos! 🌪️😜 #relationshipgoals"
5 months ago
Share →: Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Commentary:
Ah, the modern dating landscape – a complex dance of complication and chaos! 🕺💔 It's like trying to find a unicorn in a field of mermaids and centaurs! 🦄🧜‍♂️ But hey, just remember, finding someone who's not a little damaged is like finding a needle in a haystack… in a tornado! 🌪️📍 Keep your sense of humor intact and your heart open, for love will find its way
5 months ago
Share →: Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'speak now, lawn later' approach to expressing opinions! 🌱💬 Just remember, the grass isn't always greener on the other side of that sign! 😉🌿"
5 months ago
Share →: If you like constant interruptions when you’re trying to get something done, then parenting might be for you.

Commentary:
"Parenting: Because who needs a moment of peace and quiet anyway? 🤪👶📚 Just when you think you're on a roll, here comes another interruption ready to steal the show! 🚼🔇 #ParentingStruggles"