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76 Funny hear quotes

Trending Funny Hear Quotes 🔥

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”
“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.
My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.
Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.
The tragedy of my life is that I theoretically know when I shouldn’t say anything. And then I hear myself talking.

More funny hear quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

Commentary:
"Remember, even Mother Nature has a sense of humor 😄🌳 Don't let a fallen tree be a Freudian slip! Safety first, especially when dealing with exes and chainsaws! 🔪😅"
5 months ago
Share →: Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

Commentary:
"Harmonicas: the ultimate multitasking instrument for those who want to serenade and expectorate simultaneously. 🎶💦 Who knew music and spitting could go hand in hand so harmoniously? 😄🎵 #SpitTunes"
5 months ago
Share →: My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

Commentary:
Oh, the ultimate crime – cheesecake theft in the name of good food and poor hearing! 🍰🚪 At least now he knows that if he wants a slice of that delicious dessert, he better make sure to shout louder next time! 🔒😂
5 months ago
Share →: I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

Commentary:
🧺👚 "Listen up, folks! It's time to tackle that laundry mountain that's been growing taller than the Eiffel Tower. Remember, your clothes need a vacation from the floor too!" 😉 #LaundryDayBlues
5 months ago
Share →: People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Commentary:
"Maybe Satan just wants to share his side of the story and have a change of heart 🤔 After all, even the devil deserves a fair chance, right? Who knows, you might end up having a surprisingly enlightening conversation with the Prince of Darkness! 😈 #HearSatanOut"
5 months ago
Share →: Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

Commentary:
Oh, the dramatic struggle between the wine connoisseurs and the impatient wine lovers! 🍷💨 Maybe they should give the wine a tiny CPR course to revive it faster? 😄 Remember, folks, wine is for sipping, not for saving! Cheers to letting the grapes do their thing in peace! 🍇🍷
5 months ago
Share →: Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

Commentary:
"Whenever I encounter such individuals, I can't help but wonder if they're powered by sheer determination or just running on empty 🐹🚫💭 #hamsterwheelstruggles"
5 months ago
Share →: You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal quest for the perfect hot dog at a baseball game! 🌭🎶 Just imagine me, belting out 'hot dogs! hot dogs!' like a culinary symphony conductor in the stands. 🌭🎵 Who needs peanuts and cracker jacks when you've got a serious hot dog mission to fulfill?"
5 months ago
Share →: “We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the classic 'Let's make changes and hope they don't notice' technique. A bold strategy, indeed! 🤣🤷‍♂️ #ProblemSolving101"
5 months ago
Share →: When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

Commentary:
Oh, the classic IT mystery – the thrill of the unknown! 🤔💻 It's like discovering a rare unicorn in the digital realm! 🦄 Just remember, sometimes being unique can be a good thing… unless you're talking about tech issues! 😂 #ITadventures