106 Funny ID quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

  Commentary:
  "Imagine having abs of steel from just thinking about having abs of steel 🤯💪😂 #OverthinkingFitnessGoals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs fancy weather apps when you have a trusty groundhog predicting the forecast? 🌤️🐿️ Just hope he doesn't see his shadow and ruin your plans! 😂 #GroundhogAlwaysRight"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

  Commentary:
  "Someone needs to remind that sneaky groundhog that we don't appreciate surprises in the weather forecast! 🙅‍♂️☀️🌧️ Better start negotiating now before we all end up in a loop of more winter mischief!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

  Commentary:
  "If I had a bf, I'd be a gf – simple math, really! 😂👫 It's all about relationships and algebra; solving for love! 💑 #SingleAndReadyToMingle"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

  Commentary:
  🤥 "I could never journal, I'd start lying in there too." 📝 Well, honesty is overrated anyway, right? Who needs the truth when you can have a good story? Maybe that's how fiction writers are born! 😉

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

  Commentary:
  "Meeting someone just like me? That's a recipe for disaster! 🤪🤔 Better steer clear or risk a full-blown existential crisis! 😂 #DoubleTrouble"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

  Commentary:
  "Trying to spiral into control is like attempting to nail Jell-O to a wall 🌀🙃. Good luck with that chaotic journey! Maybe start with baby steps, like organizing your sock drawer first 🧦😜."

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast it had to be done by Elvis.

  Commentary:
  Well, you have to admit, only Elvis could make marriage seem as electrifying as a Vegas show 🕺🎲💒 Who wouldn't want to say "I do" with a side of "Love Me Tender" and a sprinkle of sequins? Thank you, thank you very much! 🕺🕺🎶

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If I was polyamorous, I think Id date my girlfriend three times.

  Commentary:
  "If I was polyamorous, I think I'd date my girlfriend three times… because who needs variety when you've already found the one? 🤣💕 #MonogamyForTheWin"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

  Commentary:
  "Wow, talk about taking friendship to a whole new level! 🤏🔑 Just imagine carrying a mini version of your friend around everywhere you go. They'd be your little sidekick, always there when you need them – just make sure not to lose your keys or you might misplace your friend too! 😂 #FriendshipGoals"

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