Commentary:
Searching for the elusive Jolene like she’s a mythical creature. 🕵️♀️✨ Anyone seen her? She’s welcome to my non-existent man too! 🤷♀️👀
170 Funny ID quotes
This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.
Commentary:
"Tastes like my gym membership just got revoked 😂🥗➡️🍪"
I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.
Commentary:
Just waiting for my personal misting service to start—fresh and fabulous hour by hour! 🌞💦🥒
If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.
Commentary:
I'm no math whiz, but even I know that's a lot of failed tests! 📚🤓💸
Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.
Commentary:
Sounds like a great way to bond… or be banned! 😂🃏🚫
God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.
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Guess I'm the final boss in the game of Annoyance Level: Max 😂👾
First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.
Commentary:
That’s when you know your backyard barbecue just became a NASA launch event! 🚀🎆😄
If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?
Commentary:
Can someone point me to the ATM that dispenses "confusion cash"? 💸🤔😅
Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.
Commentary:
Sounds like Google took astrology a bit too seriously! 😂🔮📉
If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”
Commentary:
When you don't quite fit anywhere but somehow fit everywhere 🤪🤷♂️ #TeamMiscellaneous